The way you looked at me
by Angelic Scars the bloody angel
Summary: ((PG for a few sware words) I suck at summaries --, well here gose)) AU. Cloud a mysterious new boy facinates Zax, who soon trys to make friends with the boy. But Cloud dosen't need friends. And his dark past still haunts him.
1. Chapter 1 Version 3

I need sugar!! Im so so so....... argh i dunno. This is a result from a quote in a film that will be nothing like the film so there XP any way this is going to be a CloudXZax fict so if you don't like this couple turn away  
now!!! ............................................................................  
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. Ok is it safe to begin yet?? Ow well , read review or ill send Sephy after  
you!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I own a PS2 all Final Fantasy games, Kingdom Hearts game a few other games a TV a bed a few stuffed animals and Anime DVDs. I DO NOT own  
Square Soft or Final Fantasy 7. OK this took me days to write, i kept adding to it and stuff and then i got writers block, then it was too short, argh!!! Youd better review... please?  
  
(Version 2, i edited this chapter a bit )  
(vesion 3, more editing and stuff whoot!)  
  
The way you looked at me.  
  
The boy next door. Not the normal beginning to a story, and this story has the strangest beginning ever. It all began when i saw the boy next door. Really saw him, he'd been there for about a week, house sitting or something, renting. I still don't know. But he was sitting there, watching the sky, he looked like a child, vulnerable and carefree, he wasn't smiling, like you would expect someone too, as the sun shone down on them. The chilly breze tuged and pushed at his hair playfuly. He looked....... lost. The sun that dazzled his blond locks making him look like an angel. My breath caught in my throat at that sight. He looked so......... beautiful. But his eyes, held a maturity beyond his years and commanded complete obedience and respect. Thoughs eyes looked....... fearful, it chilled me, and when he turn though orbs on me, i was ......... frightened. They looked so angry. But more than that, they were lifeless, they held so soul no emotion other than anger. They were frozen pools. No soul, as if it had gone to sleep behind thought blue eyes. Forever. I ran in door then, ashamed at my behaviour. It was stupid. I had been so foolish. How could anyone's eyes frighten someone? It was ridiculous. But every story has a beginning, and this one starts with the boy next door.  
  
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Zax leaned against the door, heart pounding like the pistons of a steam train. He deepened his breathing to slow his heart, it was like a run away train, not slowing down, only able to go were the tracks took it.  
  
"For crying out loud!!! Don't be suck a dumb ass Zax!!" he walked into the kitchen and dropped the bags onto the counter. A little to forcefully in his anger, causing the contents to spill and the milk to crash in a glorious splash all over the floor.  
  
"SHIT!!"  
  
"Welcome home hunny." Zax nearly did have a heart attack then when he saw that his mother was sitting at the counter and had been since he got in. The milk lapped around her feet like a mini sea but she didn't seem to notice, or didn't care and she simple shone a sunshine smile on her son.  
  
"Hi mom." he reached over and gave her a peak on the cheek.  
  
"Looks like we need milk." she got the her feet.  
  
"I'll go." She, she danced to her feet and skipped out the door grabbed her purse on the way.  
  
Zax laughed loudly, his mother was like a little girl sometimes. Full of boundless energy and a look of not having a care in the world. Nothing it seemed could upset her, she'd just beat her troubles away by flashing a blinding smile. She was so laid back, alot like him he supposed. She sometimes scared him too. Always happy and smiling. He often wondered what she would look like mad. She always seemed so young too. She seemed to full of energy to be a mother. He often joked that he was adopted. He looked out the window at the boy, still sitting there as if he hadn't moved. He probably hadn't. He looked like some carving, there was no emotion on his face, he just stared blankly. Thoughs eyes just blank. Zax wondered if the boy ever smiled. What would he look like if he smiled? That look vanishing from his eyes, to be replace by glowing laughter. How would it feel to know it had been him that made him laugh? Who was this boy anyway? Zax had never seen him before. Why was he in the house next door? The boy looked to be about 15, 16 at the most. Maybe he would be going to that same school as Zax, who was leaving that year.  
  
He watched the wind play with the boys hair. He must be freezing, it was a cold day, just turning spring. The sun may be shining, dazzling but it was windy and chilly. Zax shuddered at the thought of going out without a jacket yet the blond boy just sat there. Not a shiver touched him. He must be realy tough not to be affected by the cold like that.  
  
Zax didn't notice the time go by as he continued to watch the boy. He saw his mother then, nearing the house. She stopped by the stranger and smiled. Zax couldn't hear the conversation but the boy was actually speaking with his mother. How did his voice sound? He watched as the boy got to his feet and followed his mother. The door opened and his mother stood still smiling the milk in her hand. Forgotten and pointless, she was always the social type, and a bit scatter brained.  
  
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The woman hummed lightly the bottle of milk swinging like a pendulum in her hand, she skipped lightly adn smiled. She looked like a little girl and if she didn't have a son most would think she was just a very tall old looking 10 year old. Well manybe not but you get the idea. Her bright eyes dashing this way and that drinking in her surroundings, not wanting to miss one detail. Then she saw the blond stranger. Her smile widened as she walked over to were he sat.  
  
"Hello." she chirpped beightly, "who are you, i haven't seen you here before." she smiled at him a smile brighter than the sun.  
  
The boy turnd the icy pools on her but still she smiled. And she didn't seem to be going even though the boy had said nothing.  
  
"Well?" the blond inwardly sighed.  
  
'Im Cloud, the murderer, i wounder what she'll say to that.' the blond continued to stare, 'well i can't give my real name, maybe if i give a fake name she'll go away.' the blond stared at the sky.  
  
'Now to think of a name' he thought, 'great nothing' he inwardly sighed again, but then he saw the sky.  
  
"Sora, my name is Sora." the woman smiled and to Cloud dismay made no move to go.  
  
"I know," she smiled as she somehow manage to clap her hands together with the milk in her hand.  
  
"Why don't you come round for dinner? I have a son around you're age, he can help you around the town. Come on i only live next door." she streched a warm inviting hand to him.  
  
Cloud looked at it as if her hand would jump up and bite him.  
  
'She's only being kind to you, don't be such a fool'  
  
'But i don't deservekindness.'  
  
'Dont just stang there do sometrhing' his brain shouted many things at him and argued with its self. He took her hand and let her (she was surprizingly strong) pull him to his feet.  
  
She stared at him for a moment.  
  
"Are you feeling ok? you look a bit pale."  
  
"Im always pale." the womans smiled a motherly smile. She gripped his hand tighter.  
  
"Just tell me if you fell sick, now follow me!" she sang brightly. Cloud followed, eye brow raise. "My sons name is Zax by the way." she smiled at him.  
  
'What have i got my self into?' Cloud asked himself.  
  
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"Zax, we have a guest." she pointed the boy to the living room , "please take a seat, we'll be there in a mo." she went to find her son who was still in the kitchen.  
  
"Zax, go talk to our guest while i get dinner ready. His name is Sora." Sora, such a strange name.  
  
"Sora." he liked the feeling of it as it rolled off his tongue. Sora. He walked to the living room and sat opposite the boy who now stared at the wall.  
  
"So.... you new here?"  
  
"I would have thought that was obvious." the boy, Cloud, now turned his cold stare on Zax, Zax just smiled. Though eyes still bore into him, but they were just eyes.  
  
"So were you from?"  
  
".........................." ok so talking wasn't a strong point of Soras, Zax decided "your mother invited me for dinner." he said this in a way suggesting he'd rather be anywhere but in a strangers house being invited to dinner. Or more likely interrogated by some crazy grinning loony toon with mad hair.  
  
"Well i warn you now, my mother isn't the best cook." Cloud raised one gold eyebrow and Zax smile growed.  
  
"Come on," he grabbed Cloud's arm and dragged him to the door. The boy stiffened at the touch, though mad eye turned up full blast but Zax ignored it. Seeing that Zax wouldn't let go he decided to let himself be dragged along.  
  
"Mum, going out. Don't worry about dinner."  
  
"Ok." came the same calm voice from the kitchen, "don't be late."  
  
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They sat in the diner in an uncomfortable silence. It sliced through the air, chilling the air. Cloud sat at the window staring out at the darkening sky. Zax watched him, eating without realising or tasting. The blond hadn't touched his food. Zax wondered if he was sick or just not hungry.  
  
"So...........," What now, he had to say something or else he feel stupid.  
  
"Why did you came here?" he instantly wished he hadn't spoken as though eyes were turned on him.  
  
"I came to escape. And....... to forget." he said simply, without much emotion, but Zax could sense this was a subject that the blond didn't want to talk about.  
  
Zax was used to talking, he was a social person, only happy around people. But he was lost for words. Cloud on the other hand seemed quite happy to just sit in silence.  
  
He was staring out the window again. Zax rolled his eye, a lone wolf, great, just great. He stared at the boy for a while hoping to unnerve him into talking, but the blond took no notice. Zax was board, he'd never sat this silent for so long in all his life. It was very uncomfortable.  
  
"So, what's so interesting?" thoughs cold eyes turned on him again. Zax concentrated on not flinching, and thoughs eyes, for a brief second, looked confused.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
He began to pick at his food that was probably cold by now, it seemed Cloud would do anything to avoid talking to Zax. Zax chuckled at first, softly, then louder until it became a roaring laugh that shattered the hustle and bustle of the dinner. The blond raise one gold silk eye brow. No, he knew this guy was crazy.  
  
"I have to go," he stood to leave and Zax tried to take control of himself.  
  
"No dont go," he said with tears in his eyes and a giggle between each word. "Its just...... just...." and the roaring started again.  
  
Cloud just raised a perfect eye brow again and walked away, hoping never to see the loon that lived next door again.  
  
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Version 3 already! Well im always thinking of stuff to add and noting something wrong with it, but i think this sould be the final draft, yup, i hope so anyway.   
  
AIEEE!!!!!!!!!!! That sucked!!!!! bleh!!! IT WILL GET BETTER!!! I promise, remember review and the next chapter (might) come quicker!!! Ok bye bye now, remember to reeeeeeeeeeeviiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!! GO GO GO!!!!!!  
  
Press the review button please feed me! 


	2. chapter 2

This chappter is for: sanamimorris Serena McKeenzo my first reviewers your reviews mean so much to me, they make me wanna write more.  
  
Shortish chappter, im kinda happy with it. Hopefully the next chappter will be longer. Till then R&R ok!  
  
Tap tap tap tap tap tap!!! Urgent foot falls one after the other muffled by stealth, a steady rhythum killing the silence but also trying to obay it. Bt the louder sound was that of his racing heart. He sould be used to it by now, but still his heart always raced. It was a weakness he didnt want to admit. He was still afraid and discusted. He felt as if his heart was a ferocious beast trying to brak free of its prison.  
  
His job.... if you could call it a job, terified him. One thing he knew, he could lose. He couldnt afford to disobay. His heart beat againt his cheast like a caged animal, it hurt. It wanted to burst free.  
  
He realised he had stopped, lost in thought and the stampeding of his heart. Calm down. He had to calm down. Take a deep breath. Move. Get it over with. Forget.  
  
Forget. If onlt it was that simple. No time for that now though. He had to keep moving.  
  
The stead silent beat of his feet stopped. Again. He was hear. It was time. A glint of metel. Cold and crule. Voice that didn't register, nothing made sence. An explosion. Smoke, red, everything was red. And then the welcomeing black ness.  
  
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Clencing his fist tight he took a deep breath. Stupid fool. Why had he even accepted the womans invitaion.  
  
'Because she was the first to treat you like a person.' his mind stated simply.  
  
Stupid mind. Always butting in. And then there was the boy, the one with black hair. He had felt naked under that stare. The one the boy gave him so early in the morning. It was so scrutanizeing. But there was no hate in thoughs eyes, just curiosty. Like that of a childs seeing something new that it didn't fully understand.  
  
Stupid. It was stupid to humor these thoughs. That he could forget, no, he could never forget. He didn't deserve to. He heaved a deep sigh gulping creed amounts of oxigen, only then did he realise that he was sobing, that tears were creating a silent river down his face. He had to leave. He had to go home.  
  
Home, were was home. Home was a lost memory and the house he lived in now nothing but a shetler. A shiled against the world. Agains his worst fear, people.  
  
The rain, beating down on him. He hadn't noticed the rain. It fell down his face, body, numbing him. Cold. The cold was good.  
  
"Hey Sora dont run away!"  
  
Run away? He had alway run away. It was all he could do, all he knew. The rain, it would always find him though. And beat him. It was his reminder. And the cold.  
  
A gentle hand on his shoulder for comfort, he flinched. He didn't deserve pity.  
  
"Whatever iv'e done to upset you im sorry Sora. Forgive me?" a sincear voice. So true. So careing. He didn't desere it.  
  
"No, i don't. You've done nothing to forgive. Now leave, i want to be alone."  
  
Voice so cold. Cold, yes, the welcomeing cold. He needed it's warmth, its comfort. The cold.  
  
"No way, somethings wrong. I ain't leaving you hear."  
  
Why did the fool have to care. Couldn't he just let him wallow in his self pitty.  
  
"Leave." the voice was dangerous and threatining now. Were was the cold, he didn't want to be like this. Not agoin no, the cold was good. But the dangerous side of him, no.  
  
"At least let me give you a ride home."  
  
That word again, home? What was home? Were was home? He didn't have a home, didn't deserve one.  
  
"Ok." his voice was quiet, a lost child. He hated showing weakness, he was not weak, would never be weak. The darkness, the spining sickness. The head ache that suddenly came on. There was no light.  
  
"Woah!" Zax said in surprize as the boy fell into his arms. He had fainted. He blinked slightly in shoke. Saw the wet paths the tears had carved into his pale cheeks. Who was this boy?  
  
Zax shifted his weight and lifted the boy into his arms. He was surprizingly light. Worry filled him and a strange feeling surged through him. But he needed to get the boy home. It was dark and cold and he was only wearing a thin shirt.  
  
"Who are you?" Zax whispered as he walked to the car. He was glad he bought the car. The rain was soking his shirt and numbing his limbs.  
  
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"What happened?"  
  
"I dunno he just fainted, out like a light." a gentle hand reached for the blonds forhead.  
  
"Oh, hes burning up, get him to the guest room now. And get him out of though wet clothes, he'll catch his death of cold."  
  
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So hot, he felt like death. Falling falling forever. And it was so dark, like him.  
  
'You're a failiour boy.'  
  
'You can't do anything right'  
  
'Fool!!'  
  
'You can't escape who you are, you will always be a killer.'  
  
'Killer!!Murderer!Monster!EVIL!!'  
  
'You can't escape who you are, what you are.'  
  
'YOU CAN NEVER FORGET!'  
  
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"Sora? Sora, hey Sora. Wake up."  
  
'Were am am, what happened. Why am i here? Who am i? What..... What happened?'  
  
"Sora?"  
  
"Who's Sora?" his voice was croaky like a taod and his mouth felt like a desert.  
  
"You're Sora you idiot, now here drink this." Warm coforting liquid wet his throat. No he didn't deserve comfort. No, he was a monster.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"You fainted. You have a temerature too. Are you feeling better now Sora?"  
  
Sora, whos Sora. Oh, yes, now he remembered, he was Sora now. He wouldn't be that monster any more. He wouldnt be Clo........  
  
"Ah, Sora your awake. Good. The doctor was here earlyer, he said you sould get pleanty of rest and to take these twice a day." the woman from earlyer handed him a small bottle of pills.  
  
"Stay here tonight ok, its late and you need to rest. If you need anything Zax will help you, i have to go into work. Ok, sleep well now." and she left.  
  
His head hurt, it was light road works were going on iside it. He close his eyes against the blinding light. It hurt.  
  
"Too bright." there were shuffling foot steps and a click. The bright light was gone. He let out a content sigh. That was better. He was so comroftable, even the banging in his head couldnt discomfort him. He felt a large hand rest gently on his forhead.  
  
"You're still hot." there was the sound of water. Something being dipped into a bowl. Then dripping. Then the cold, the pain in his head eased. The water trickled to his eyes. He didnt care. He was too comfortable. But the gentle hand was there again, to brush away the water that dripped from the flanal.  
  
"Why do you care?"  
  
"Why? Because you needed help, i couldn't just leave you there. What are friends for."  
  
"Friends?"  
  
"Yup, if thats ok with."  
  
"Friends." he'd never had a friend. He always hurt the people who got near him. What would make this boy any diffrent.  
  
"I need to sleep now." there was a tired sigh and a shuffle of feet.  
  
"Call me if you need anything." Zax was greeted without a reply.  
  
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